Evermore
by KAOK
Summary: ...Even so, I felt like it was getting darker by the second. The gathering blackness only heightened my fear. I could hear the buzzing of talking, and then shouting. It was becoming increasingly clear that something was wrong..." A story of the end.....
1. Complications

The feeling was hard to describe. I felt like something was biting at my fingertips; my hands were becoming numb. When I first walked into this room, I could hardly see. The lights had been dimmed so low that I was glad that it was empty… Edwards has anticipated my clumsy nature. Even so, I felt like it was getting darker by the second. The gathering blackness only heightened my fear. I could hear the buzzing of talking, and then shouting. It was becoming increasingly clear that something was wrong.


	2. Blessings

BLESSING

BLESSING

"Are you sure you're ready to do this?"

"Are you?" I asked.

Edward, his arm wrapped tightly around my waist, stopped walking. His arm slipped to my side while his other hand glided smoothly across my cheek. Never taking his hands from their stations, his face leaned in to mine and his lips rested lightly on my ear.

"I have been ready all my life."

And with that, he lifted his face towards mine and gazed deeply into me. In a matter of moments I was swept away by his scent that flowed from his defined features and in my direction. Everything about Edward and me together felt amazingly flawless and yet impossibly simple. Taking in his essence in one deep breath, I felt myself falling into him like a doll in the hands of a child. Never once had I doubted the intensity of my infatuation. Only once had I doubted his.

Thinking about the one time where misunderstanding and stubbornness separated us used to be physically painful to think about. But in these moments where all I could see was my future staring me straight in the face, those devastating months seemed like a nightmare almost forgotten. Those days were behind us, but there were other problems.

Even amidst his perfection, something felt bittersweet. Each kiss that Edward and I shared was like a rush of adrenaline. I could feel every moment of the last year and a half surging though my blood; each triumph and each repressed memory flowed through me. Even if… when… my blood no longer pulsed through my veins, those memories would still be there. And with each beat of my heart, each caress, each kiss, I felt Jacob Black inside me too… and that was something I tried not to think of.

Although I was the only person impervious to his powers of mind control, Edward's powers of perception still picked up on my feelings faster than Jasper could influence them.

"Having second thoughts?" he jested. The familiar crooked smile that I'd come to love crept up the sides of his face. He grabbed my hand and adjusted the enormous diamond ring on my finger.

"No," I said quietly. I realized how unconvincing I sounded and tried to make up for it, "None at all."

I'm not sure if Edward knew it or not, but for the first time, I really meant it. True, I never doubted my devotion, but I did doubt the institution of marriage… I'd made that very clear. It was almost eerie how close in age I am to Renee and Charlie when they first eloped. Considering that unhappy ending, the prospect of marriage was never enticing. Now, though, I was quite certain that this was the right thing to do. It's what stopped me from making the final act of commitment to Edward in the meadow a few minutes ago. Marriage was the final step towards the future I'd chosen; my happy ending.

Despite my certainty though, fear still consumed me. Just a minute ago we were in the meadow, isolated from feeble concerns of humans. Now, we were making slow steps towards the front door of the small two bedroom house that Charlie and I shared. Today was the day we shared our secret: Edward and I were affianced.

"Good," he smiled, "Because its time." At his release, we kept walking. Charlie's cruiser was parked in its usual spot; he was home.

"Oh Lord," I groaned, "Can't we just elope like normal star crossed lovers?" I started dragging my feet in exaggeration.

"As I recall," Edward reminded me, "waiting was _your_ idea."

"Well it's about time I got a choice on how things are run around here."

His velvet laughter filled the air. "Every choice from now on is yours," he cooed.

We made our way past the door and into the hallway. Edward helped me shrug out of my coat and hung it up on the hook. He then removed his own grey pea coat revealing a black turtleneck that hugged every muscle of his chest. I still couldn't believe that all this perfection was destined for me… and the only price was something I was ready and willing to pay.

"Bells," Charlie called from our tiny living room,"You home?"

"Yeah," I replied. I started to walk into the room where the blare of what seemed to be a basketball game belted out of the television speakers.

"Hey Dad," I said when I was finally standing in front of him. "Edward is here."

Charlie muttered something under his breath as Edward floated into the room.

"Good evening Charlie," Edward said, polite as always.

"Hello."

"Dad," I interjected, "Can you turn off the game for a few minutes. I… we need to talk to you."

Charlie half-heartedly flicked the television off. I rarely shared a sit down chat that required a sports event to be interrupted. The look on Edward's face made me guess that Charlie had a feeling about where this was going.

"OK," he sighed and set the remote down. "What's up?"

I sat down on the couch next to Charlie while Edward chose his usual spot in the recliner.

"Dad, I know that you've been concerned for me lately."

"You certainly give me enough cause," he stated matter-of-factly. I had a flashback to all of the mental anguish I'd put Charlie through since coming to Forks.

"I was referencing one concern in particular." I glanced over to Edward who was looking quite serene considering the circumstances.

"I see," he said nervously. Charlie shifted in his seat so as to face the both of us straight on, "What is it now?"

"Nothing bad this time," I promised.

"And we hope," Edward chimed in, "That you'll be happy to hear it."

Charlie's face reflected newfound understanding about the tone of the conversation.

"Oh?" he snuffed in an almost mocking tone.

"Dad," I pleaded, "Please don't say anything until you have a chance to listen to what we have to tell you."

Looking defeated, Charlie finally consented with a stark nod.

"I know that things have been…" I paused, shooting a quick glance at Edward, "difficult since last September. For a few months, things were bad, and I know that. I know I put you through a lot. Seeing me like that has made you resentful."

"And rightfully so," Edward said. Both Charlie and I looked surprisingly at him.

"Charlie," Edward whispered, "I would say that I can't imagine the pain it has caused you to see Bella in that condition, but I would be lying. I don't have to imagine it because I lived it. Without Bella, I fell apart. I…" he struggled for words. "When you love someone," he finished, "separation is devastation. My world shattered, and only Bella could repair it."

Charlie stared at Edward; his expression was a mix of anger and understanding. Edward's words seemed to ring true to him.

"And I do love her," he finished, "More than life itself."

Charlie looked shocked. I guessed that Edward had responded to some snide remark Charlie had made in his head.

The entire discussion felt like an eternity, but the next step was going to be the hardest by far. My heart rate quickened and my throat suddenly felt very dry.

"Dad, what Edward is saying is that neither of us would be able to survive that kind of separation again; any kind of separation."

_Here goes._

"And hopefully, now we don't have to."

Edward reached out for my hand.

"Charlie, I've asked Bella to be my wife.

Charlie sat up as though an electric charge had shot through his whole body. Perhaps he thought we were going to move in together or something like that; something less… legally binding. Charlie turned to look at me and me alone.

"And," I finished, "I emphatically agreed."

The whole room was silent, even Charlie could hear the uneven pounding in my chest. After a few minutes I realized I was squeezing Edward's hand. Even though I knew I wasn't hurting him, I looked over and mouthed apology. He just smiled and wrapped both hands around mine. Finally, Charlie spoke.

"I don't suppose you're asking permission."

"More like your blessing," I prodded.

Charlie nodded. He looked as though he was evaluating each hopeless option. I really didn't care if Charlie was upset over this decision.

What bothered me was that even though a giant burden has been lifted off of my chest, I wasn't being completely honest. I could never be completely honest with Charlie. Even though I loved him and my mom, they had become part of the sacrifice for something more promising; an entire eternity of promise.

"I don't need to tell you," he said directly to Edward, "That I do not approve. Even setting aside the fact that I am not so fond of you for other reasons, those feelings are not my only problem. I know how it feels to be young and in love, but its much more complicated than just loving someone. Marriage is the promise to always put someone else before you, and sometimes it's almost impossible."

It was the longest speech I'd ever heard Charlie make, and certainly the most thoughtful. I couldn't tell Charlie how well I actually understood what he meant.

"I understand your concern," said Edward, "and I guarantee to give all of me to Bella."

Normally I would have felt uncomfortable hearing Edward spill his intimate thoughts in front of my father, but this time I only felt more secure in my decision.

"I see," he responded grimly.

"So what do you think?" I asked him with a glint of optimism in my voice.

"If you want my blessing," he said sternly, "there are a few conditions."

All of my hope disappeared. "What kind of conditions?"

"One: attend college. Two: have a ceremony. It's not so much for me, but for Renee. If you two were to hop a place to Vegas and get hitched secretly I think she would be furious. She deserves to see her little girl go down the aisle."

"Of course," I whispered. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. _Do not cry_ I internally instructed.

"And third: Tell Jacob in person."

I felt Edward's hands tighten slightly.

"Dad, I love you but you've got to really hear me here: My only interest is in Edward. That's my choice. I've tried treating Jacob as a friend and it just didn't work out. I think its best to just let him go his way and let us go our way." Those words hurt. Really, really hurt, but I tried not to show it. I tried so hard to stand resolute.

"But," demanded Charlie, "I think you owe him more than that."

I did own him more than that, but all my efforts to communicate with Jacob were so strained and painful. Still, what else could I do? Ignore him forever? Pretend he hadn't saved my life…or my sanity?

"Deal," Edward answered for me.

"I think I'll have to wait for her word, if you don't mind."

"Okay Dad," I conceded, "I'll tell him myself.

"Fine," said Charlie with an air of satisfaction. "But I'm curious. Have Dr. Cullen and Mrs. Cullen been privileged to this information?"

"Actually, we thought it best to get your blessing first Charlie," Edward lied.

"But now that we have it, perhaps you would permit us to go and tell them?"

"Oh," Charlie smiled. He seemed fairly pleased that he was the first to know, even though Alice was always the first to know anything. "Of course."

Charlie stood up as we stood up and he moved towards me with outstretched arms. The hug wasn't as awkward as I would have thought it would be.

"I love you Bells," he whispered.

I felt bad that I wasn't being completely honest, but I also felt relieved that I could share this human experience with Charlie. The daughter tells her father that she's ready to start her family. Normally, the father would have stood proud of his daughters choice… something that he could be happy about. Something that would bring them closer together; this time, marriage symbolized my choice to divide us. Maybe, if I was strong, I would be able to see Charlie again after being changed. Maybe I would be able to show him that he was wrong about Edward… that he was good for me. Maybe after I convinced Charlie, I would be able to convince Edward.

After our little moment, he released me and while we were leaving he shouted, "Eleven on the dot!"

"Okay Dad," I shouted back as the TV clicked on.

I swear I heard him chuckle to himself as the door closed behind me.



Edward opened the door to his shiny silver Volvo and I climbed in as quickly as he was able to get into his seat. Show off.

"Well now," he smiled while starting the engine, "That went much smoother than I pictured it. Faster too. Less yelling."

"Charlie isn't much of a yeller," I informed him.

"Believe me," he said quietly as we pulled into the street, "Charlie yells."

I thought briefly of the moment when we returned from our experience with the Volturri in Italy. I was awake long enough to hear Charlie's reaction when we were coming in to the house, but I was long asleep when Charlie banned Edward from the house.

"Are we going to your house?" I asked. Although we told Charlie that he was the first to know of the engagement, the entire Cullen family has known for quite some time that Edward and I would be together in some form beyond boyfriend and girlfriend. Marriage was a pretty dull concept to all except Alice who was playing the toll of wedding planner. I was looking forward to cementing our relationship in a more final way.

"Actually," he said in a voice velvety smooth, "I'd like to drive around for a bit if you don't mind."

"OK," I said skeptically. "Why?"

"Well, I have to tell you something, and you might not be happy to hear it. I'm not sure."

"Why do you have to tell me in the car?" I mused, shooting a glance at the speedometer. Ugh, too fast. I remembered that last time that Edward mentioned the need to talk in this car. Luckily, the actual deed didn't happen here. I might not be able to ride in this car again if it had.

"Because I figure," he said in a menacing tone, "That you won't freak out too severely if we're soaring down the road at 100 mph."

"Just say it."

"Alright. I've invited Jacob to the wedding."

I felt my heart sink into my chest. Charlie mentions Jacob constantly in a not so subtle way, so when he mentioned him earlier there was no pain. But when Edward mentioned Jacob, a hard pang of guilt rattled me. Edward was the winner… he had all of me… all of me except the tiny piece that would always belong to Jacob. Thinking about the entire situation is far too painful. If only Edward had never left… how simple life would be.

"Bella?"

"Um… what?"

"I said I already invited Jacob to the wedding."

"Oh." I figured silence was probably best. I heard the engine working harder as Edward sped up in anticipation of my reaction.

"How?"

"Through the mail."

"Is he coming?"

"I'm not sure. He hasn't sent any notice one way or the other."

"I see…"

I could just see it now. Jacob, the gangly sixteen year old that was my world when Edward couldn't be, dressed in a pressed suit standing at the side of my wedding. The thought seemed cruel; making him watch me walk down the aisle with one of his arch enemies.

I should be angry with Edward, but I wasn't. I know that if I had chosen Jacob over Edward that Edward would come. Maybe even a part of Edward would be happy that I'd found someone who could give me life. Still, even though I loved Jacob Black, I could not give him my heart. Someone else already held it.

"Are you very upset?" he questioned, quite concerned.

"Yes," I answered as honestly as I could. His face twisted in pain, and I reached over to touch him. Trying to put all his concentration on the road we were flying down, he sighed when I caressed his cheek.

"I'm not upset with you, though. I'm just upset. This entire situation…"

"Is my fault," he moaned. "Any problem we face is anchored in the fact that I have royally mussed everything up. You wouldn't have gotten injured by James if I'd been less selfish and escorted you home instead of playing baseball."

"Don't do this," I pleaded.

"You wouldn't have had the breakdown if…" he stopped. "And Charlie wouldn't hate me. And the Volturri wouldn't be coming. And Jacob would just be your annoying _friend_."

"Please stop the car."

Edward finally faced me, which was terrifying because he wasn't watching the road, but I kept his gaze. "Please."

The car slowed to a crawl, and we pulled out to the side of the road. With a click he turned off the engine and leaned his head onto the steering wheel.

"I love you," I said quietly. "I love you more than I can tell you. I love you even though you left. I love you even thorough the pain. I love you, even though there are other choices; in some ways, easier choices. I love you." Edward kept his head down. "But you have got to stop. I can't keep trying to tell you that what happened isn't your fault. Its no ones fault but fate. You left because you had to leave. If you hadn't, every day of our lives together would have been filled with your wondering if I would be better without you. Well now we know I wouldn't. We know that I am not Bella without Edward. You hold my life together. But if you keep insisting on revisiting our past, you're just going to set us back. I love you. Just loving you is enough. Just being here is enough."

Slowly, he lifted his face which was still in agony. I kept my hand pressed to his cheek, and he breathed in my scent.

"That used to be so hard," he mused.

"Love conquers all, I guess."

"Yes," he laughed. "Love conquers all. Anger, fear, desperation, pain… even death in the end."

"Even death," I promised.

Edward looked into my eyes. Then, suddenly, he opened his door and slipped out of the car. In a second, he was opening mine. He twisted my body to face him as he kneeled on the ground. I could not for the life of me figure out what he was doing; he had already proposed.

"I love you Bella Swan. I love you, I love you, I love you." He kissed my hand. "And I am so worried that when I change you, you won't love me anymore. That… your lust for blood will defeat your lust for me. Its not just the blush in your cheeks or the scent of your blood I will miss…" he sighed. "What if I miss you entirely. What if you decide to leave? I could not…"

He collapsed into my folded hands. I had no idea what to say to him. How in heaven or hell or anywhere else could I ever want anything more than Edward? I may not be able to destroy wants completely, but none would ever eclipse this.

"You don't understand how strong the instinct is to be a hunter. Vampires are not humans. We look like you and we act like you, but in our heads blood is always thicker than water. Even with 100 years of vampiric life under my belt, the choice between you and the blood was difficult… at least at first. What would stop you from making the opposite choice?" He looked up at me; his topaz eyes burning with fear.

"Oh Edward," I cried. The tears started spilling out over my cheeks. He stood up and his lips collided with mine. This was not the controlled kisses of the past… nor was it a kiss of desire for my body. This kiss was a lock; a physically binding act that kept us together as long as we chose it to. I reached for him, my arms searching for something on him to hold on to. At this moment, nothing was more important than holding Edward. The world around us was continually crashing down, but as long as I held on to him there was little that could pull me under.

"Bella," he whispered in between kisses, "Bella, Bella, Bella. I love you. I love you."

Each moment became more intense. Each gasp for air was more fevered; every touch more sensitive. Edward, his lips still locked to mine, lifted me from the car. He left the car door open. He didn't seem to worry about anyone else coming down this road and I wasn't even sure where we were. As if it mattered.

Edward carried me to the grass in between the forest and the road. I felt small beads of moisture touch my back as he set me down. Edward was kissing me harder than he ever had. He pressed himself down harder on me. This was the second time today that Edward was willing to lose control. I was able to stop him in the meadow, but he was softer there; less concentrated. Edward on top of me was impossible to stop.

Almost instinctively, I fumbled with the buttons of his coat and slid it off of him while he pushed his lips on to my neck. The feeling was hard to describe. Each breath was like a small dose of a narcotic. I tugged at the bottom of his turtleneck, and he stopped kissing me. I felt so nervous and so disappointed. Once again I had crossed the thinly drawn line in our relationship. I regretted not taking advantage of his weak point earlier today.

Edward saw the sadness in my face, and smiled. He reached for the bottom of his turtleneck and effortlessly pulled it off. As he lowered himself to kiss me again, he reached for the buttons of my shirt and unfastened them with expertise. Then, in the tenderest of ways, he lifted my shirt above my head revealing only a bra. I felt so hopelessly average with him looking at me.

"Beautiful," he smiled. Then he placed his hands at the small of my back, and worked up to the back of my bra. While most boys would fumble with the claps, Edward unsnapped them easily. Sliding it off, I started to feel nervous. _Oh God_, I thought, _this cannot be happening._ Both our chests were bare, but I hardly noticed how cold it was on the ground. His mouth moved so intently in perfect rhythm with mine. Then he pulled himself from my lips, and to my collar bones.

"Beautiful," he said again.

I wanted to say something, but I wasn't sure what. How could I possibly speak?

"So hard to stop," he breathed. His face was on a part of me he'd never kissed before, and my breathing was hectic. He brushed his face across my chest, and finally made his way to my stomach.

_Oh thank you God_, I thought.

Kissing so softly along the edge of my jeans, I was a wreck. Surely this was the greatest form of torture. His breath on such a sensitive area felt so unbelievable intimate that I couldn't stand it.

"Stop," I breathed. "Please stop."

"I'm sorry," he whispered to my navel. "So sorry." Then he began kissing again.

"Oh Edward," I cried. "Don't you know what you're doing?" The fact that I was able to form a coherent sentence was astonishing to me.

"No actually," he smiled. "I don't. But I would very much like to move beyond novice. I _want_ to learn."

"Oh God," I shuddered. Pleasure was rolling all through my body in waves. I was worried I would begin to shake. "I…. ah…. I already said… please stop doing that!"

Edward laughed quietly. He came up from my stomach and rested his body on top of mine.

"Okay, I've stopped. Speak." This seemed like a game to him.

"Edward, you're pushing it. Any more and I won't be able to stop you… now or ever."

"Now you know how it was for me," he laughed. Although he was facing me, his hands still explored my exposed skin.

"Yes, I suppose I do. And whenever _you_ asked _me_ to stop, I stopped."

"And…" he breathed, "Do you want me to stop?" He nibbled on my ear as I felt one of his hands brush across the button of my jeans.

"No," I moaned.

"Do you want me?"

"Yes." This was unbearable. Just as he was trying to unzip my jeans, I somehow managed to squeeze the words, "But not here. Not yet." I was lying. I desperately wanted Edward. The months of suppressed sexuality was finally escaping us. Each kiss was set on fire; every touch was electric.

"Oh Bella," he groaned. "I don't care about my soul. Not now."

"To be quite honest," I said sitting up, "neither do I. I'm more concerned about my heart." It was beating so hard that my chest was actually aching. This was the most breathtaking heartache imaginable.

"That's your body saying give in."

How I wish I could listen to my body.

"We've waited so long!" I cried. "What's a few more weeks?"

"Agony."

"Very true."

"Please understand me. I'm not worried about it. Don't you worry about it."

"I would like to be a virgin on my wedding day. I want to do this right."

"A little old fashioned, don't you think?" he asked inquisitively.

"This coming from Mr. Old Fashioned himself."

"I can honestly say," he spoke starkly, "that I am more human now than I've ever been. My lust for your body has finally caught up with my lust for your blood. It might be worse. But this urge… so easily subdued."

"Hey!" I shrieked when he started to kiss me again. "You said we do it my way."

He sighed deeply and collapsed on top of me. "You will be the death of me."

"Too late," I joked.

"I feel so vulnerable," he said on to my chest.

"You feel vulnerable? What about me."

"We're both in a similar state," Edward held, cupping my bare breast and kissing it lightly.

"Yes, but for a woman the body is a very private thing. We're not accustomed to just taking off our shirt whenever it gets hot or we decide to swim."

"Yes, you wait until you can park on the side of the road," he laughed. I slapped him hardly.

"You sound like Emmett."

"Are you cold?" he asked, sounding less like a hormone driven teen and more like the cool and composed Edward I was used to.

"A little. To be honest I wasn't paying much attention to it before."

I slipped my clothes back on, but Edward left his shirt off. Edward helped me off the ground and we headed back to the car. As I was about to get in the passenger's side he whipped me around and pushed me against the side of his Volvo. I placed my hands on his bare waist. I felt like I was grasping two thin columns of stone. My hands felt up the rippled of his muscles and I shivered with delight. He compressed his body on to mine again.

"This is physically painful," he groaned. "I want you so desperately."

"Not until I see a ring on my finger Mr. Cullen," I said in a very flighty tone.

"Ahem," he reached for my hand and touched the engagement ring. Then he put his hand behind me while his other tugged at my loose fitting jeans. He dragged his finger along the edge of the denim and touched just beyond the fabric. The sensation was impossible to resist.

"Okay, another ring then."

"So be it," he whispered into my ear. We both got into his car after Edward finally put his shirt back on, seemingly convinced that he had gotten as far as he could physically… tonight at least.

Driving back towards his house, I was giddy with delight. I was always tantalized by Edward's stunning physique, but I had never seemed impossible for him to resist. Even when we had gotten physical in the past, he was always the one urging the limits. Now, though, he seemed weak when it came to the subject of intimacy. I felt for the first time that I held some of the dazzling power of seduction in my front pocket. Power is a very strong feeling and very pleasurable, and any power I held over Edward Cullen brought me slightly closer to being on par with him. Only slightly though.

While I was thrilled with my newfound influence, watching him drive was driving me insane. I wanted him to tell me no. That he would not wait. That he understood why I was stopping him, but that he just could not stop himself. I pleaded with him internally. _Stop the car, stop the car. _But to no avail. Each movement he made was torturous… my desire was stronger than it had ever been.

When we finally got to the Cullen home, I was so grateful to be out of that small space and in some fresh air. Maybe that would clear my head. Doubtful.

Before we even got close to reaching the door, Alice opened it and smiled wryly at both of us.

"Have a good time?" she asked, mocking us.

"Almost," Edward pouted. Alice just laughed and danced into the house. We followed her, and what I found shouldn't have shocked me, but it did. Spread out on the floor in front of us was stacks and stacks of magazines. Cakes, drapery, elegant locations surrounded by the bluest waters I'd ever seen were sprawled in every direction.

"I figure that you kids are probably dying for this wedding to happen for obvious reasons." Alice plucked a leaf from my tussled hair. Edward laughed loudly and I shot a scornful glance his way. Esme, statuesque and lovely as ever, entered the enormous front room from the kitchen.

"Hello Bella," she said sweetly.

"Hi Esme," I smiled. With Renee living in Florida, Esme was the closest thing to a mother figure I had around, and I loved that to her I was already family.

"So I see you've come just in time Bella," Esme joked. "Alice was just laying out all of the options for the ceremony."

"I thought it was supposed to be all downhill from the dress," I whimpered.

"Don't be silly, Bella," Alice chastised. "This will be fun!"

"For you maybe," I said under my breath.

"I feel a little out of my element here," Edward said.

"Hey, if I have to do this, you're going to be here to. This ceremony is as much for you as it is for me."

"I know it looks like a lot to decide from," Alice sighed, looking down at the magazines, "But really I only need to know a few things. Mainly, where should we hold it?"

I hadn't really put much thought into the idea.

"I think I'd like to stay in Forks," I decided. I wished that we could hold it in the meadow, but a five mile hike into the woods would be a little much to ask of wedding guests.

"There is the chapel down the street from the school," Esme suggested. "Are you opposed to a religious ceremony?"

"Um, not really opposed…. Wherever it is held, a marriage is a marriage."

"What if we do it here?" asked Alice, excited by the idea. I noticed her already looking around the room, deciding what kind of decorations she would put where.

"Oh I don't want to put that burden on you guys," I protested.

"It's not a burden!" said Alice seemingly offended. "You are a part of this family too Bella. Our house is your house."

"It would be easy to run from the house," suggested Edward.

"Alright," I said, "if you're sure it's alright, I would love to have the wedding here."

"Wonderful," said Esme beaming.

"OK, now would you like to do this inside or outside?" Alice questioned.

"Uh, what is the weather going to be like?" asked Edward.

Alice smiled. "Overcast."

"So, we could do it inside or outside then?"

"I suppose so."

"I would like to have an inside wedding." I looked to Edward who was smiling. He seemed very pleased that I wasn't putting up too much of a fight. After this afternoon, I would be counting down the minutes to our wedding day, and wedding night.

Alice squealed. "Oh its going to be amazing! Flowers everywhere! Everything will be perfect!"

"I hope so," Esme said. "I must say, most of us have been married more than once to keep up our cover. Still, each time a ceremony, however small, is still very exciting. At least for the couple getting married."

Alice rolled her eyes. "If I have to hear another vow telling Rosalie how gorgeous she is, I am going to gag."

Esme shot a disapproving glance toward Alice, who only laughed and reached for another magazine.

"What kinds of cake do you like Bella?"

"Oh jeez," I thought. "I guess white cake."

"Good. That's very suitable for weddings."

"Oh yes," Edward jested. "Very suitable."

"Oh be quiet," she laughed.

"Now, before we decide on what cake and what size it will be, I have to know how many people you're inviting."

"Uh..." I thought, thinking back to Jacob's unanswered invitation.

"OK Alice," Edward stepped in. "I think we need to give Bella a little break."

"Fine," she said lightly. "I'll just keep looking these over."

"Thanks for your help with this Alice," I said as Edward grabbed my hand and led me to the stairs, "Without you I'd be totally hopeless. Charlie isn't much of a wedding planner."

"It is my pleasure."

"You bet it is," Edward whispered under his breath, but Alice ignored it.

Once in Edward's room, I collapsed onto the gigantic bed Edward has purchased for my little captive sleepover a while back. The satin sheets were very inviting, and I suddenly felt very exhausted. The clock on the nightstand read 10:30. I would have to go soon, so I decided not to get too comfortable. Edward was across the room putting a CD into the player. The music was soft and incredibly smooth sounding. Whoever was playing the piano was so well versed in it that I doubt there was a life outside of music for him.

Edward turned around and walked over to me on the bed with a devious look on his face.

"Oh no," I warned, "I can't stand any more torture tonight."

"Actually, I wasn't thinking about acting on these feelings. I'm pretty tired of limitations tonight. I was thinking about how nice it will be when I can share a bed with you beyond secret."

"Hey," I said defensively. "We shouldn't need a bed should we?"

"I don't know, the idea is very enticing to me. I like being able to sprawl out on it. I don't intend to do much sleeping."

We both laughed loudly and Edward laid down with me. I rested my head on his shoulder and my hand on his chest.

"It does make me a little sad," he observed after a few minutes.

"What does?"

"The fact that we cannot have children."

I hadn't even thought of children. I never pictured myself as the motherly type. Sure, I took care of my mother like one takes care of a child, but I was never responsible for her. Even so, I thought about what it would be like to raise a child with Edward. How loved that child would be. It made me sad, because it truly was out of the question. I wanted to be a mother.

"One of the many prices we pay for immortality," he said.

"There are many prices aren't there."

Edward sat up.

"Yes. Yes there are. And you are the luckiest of all of us because you have the choice to make these sacrifices. You can change your mind." He looked sad.

"Its tough," I admitted, "But not that tough. I've known for a long time now what my fate was. It was sealed when I met you."

"It sure was. And mine will be sealed if I don't get you home soon." We must have been lying there much longer than I thought. It was a few minutes to ten.

Edward had me home right on time, and was already in my bed before I could get to my room. It was easy to sleep that night, and even easier to dream.


End file.
